All Quotes:

It feels like a sleeping back.

about how wonderfully warm the classroom was

Incontinence is not a sign of success.
Elissa would say, 'Poop through the pain.'

dedicated runners who don't stop to use the facilities

Boys are weird...I want one.

"Will you give me a butt massage?"
"Sure"
"What's a butt massage between friends?"
"Weird."

pulling a muscle

We have very different tastes.
That's why it would never work between us.
One of the many reasons.
That and you would kill me in my sleep.
You don't make me mad when you are sleeping.

Dating

I forgot my toothbrush.
Did you check your glove box?
Yes.
Did you check your fanny pack?
I didn't bring...er, yes, I did.
Did you check your other two bags?
Shut up.

Amanda trying to travel light

It smells old in here.

the Craft room

That smells like my Pirates of the Caribbean - the Ride

Fake My Little Pony

Lasterday

Anything in the past

I'm always the other woman...I'm such a tramp for getting no action at all.

Love triangles

I no want for big lady.

standards

On the dimensions of compatibility, I forgot that I checked a-hole.

being matched with a jerk on eHarmony

Beignet, done that.

I wanna have kids before 10 years...my ovaries will shrivel up and die.

waiting 10 years for a younger man

Buffalo?!?! It tastes like a buffalo??!?

about Buffalo sauce
 
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Human?