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Steph's Quotes

Is that a cardboard box in the treeline?
Yes, I believe it is.
I'm worried that there are kittens in it. I'll have to check later.
If there are kittens in it then they'll probably be frozen by later. I'll send an e-mail to Jon and see if he checked the box for kittens ... Deep-set emotional issues?
(Worried Face) I found a frozen cat once.
I did too, come to think of it, but it was in the freezer.
Truly traumatizing.

about the mysterious cardboard box by the parking lot

He got saved on Monday.
How is that good news?
What do you mean?
How is getting tasered good news?
SAVED, not tasered!

about a friend's salvation

How does it go? You throw your pearls to pigs?
NO!! You NEVER throw your pearls to pigs!?!

about biblical metaphors for farm sitting

Is THAT a UNICYCLE!?

on Harrodsburg Road, proving just how terrible her distance vision is

How do you solve a disagreement between members of the art department and editorial?
Cage fight.

on how to solve interdepartmental disagreements

Never squander an opportunity for the use of naked alliteration.

said while editing a story about how a mounted patrol horse encountered some scantily clad cyclists in a demonstration in front of the White House

There's going to be a fight scene with slabs of beef.

about the Alias premiere (Jan 2005)

Is that your head?
No, thankfully.
Whose is it?
Oh, a dead horse.

an MRI on Stephanie

I hate it when the Indian Ocean decides to hang out in my left sinus cavity.
It can't be the Indian Ocean. If it were, it'd smell like curry.

about the after-effects of sinus lavage.

Do you think if someone were obsessed with grammar they would name their child Gerund?

about grammar lovers to her Grammar, Punctuation, and Usage online class teacher

Whenever I wore it I felt like a Transformer: ready to convert into something else and launch into the sky.

about her old laptop backpack that she gifted to Erin R., who appreciates it much more than she does

I still think Hallelujah Peeps are a fantastic idea. I'd like to think of them more as an Easter witnessing tool, but most people I've talked to say they're not OK with eating Jesus.

Hallelujah Peeps (tm)

That was the night he confessed his former attraction to me at the wedding and then again at the funeral in one sentence, but then said that he had 'met someone'--named Steve--in the next.

on how sometimes there's such a thing as too much honesty in the span of five minutes.

I want to kick something!!! (gesticulating wildly)
Don't kick me. Step away from the Stephanie. Here, throw this peach at him.
Just think of how satisfying that "sqwoosh" would be!?!

Erin's workplace frustration

You could be the fire-breathing lady.
OK, but first I need to figure out how to breathe fire.

on planning the circus-theme halloween event.
 
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Human?